Monkey Diaries Archive

I Am Jack's Swollen Colon While perusing one of my favorite sources of information, Amelie, I was struck numb by her post about Mucoid Plaque. I'm not sure what to think other than to think I shouldn't (nobody really should) think about it. One of the great things about being human is being the top of the food chain. Hours of fun can be had exerting dominance over the other species unlucky enough to exist on this planet with us. See a gazelle out in the bush? Kill it, skin it and eat it like a Big Mac of the Serengeti. Find a sea turtle basking on a deserted beach in costa rica? Smash it with a rock, scoop out the shell and cook it with some greens and make a turtle stew even Jacques Cousteau would be hard pressed to deny himself! Find a nest of nearly extinct great puffins on a desolate rock in the middle of the pacific? Kill 'em, pluck 'em and cook 'em with tabasco sauce and create a bucket of "puffalo wings" worthy of a tailgate party! That in a nutshell is what makes being a human being great. Of course, then you run across information that causes you a brief moment of despair. Should I eat that 3/4 lb. steerburger knowing my colon will look like a road in Iraq? Oh the tragedy of the human condition! Why must god curse us with both opposable thumbs to work a hammer lock on a handgun AND gastrointestinal systems as fragile as Christopher Reeves spine?