Monkey Diaries Archive

Two to Tango The average number of films released by US studios hovers in the 80-90 range with a high of 126 released in 2001. Of course, if you had gone to watch each of those films released in 2001 you would have shelled out a minimum of $1197.00 if you went alone (double it if you have a sig other, triple it if you tend to cop some jujubees and a coke). That's a damn chunk of change that most people either cannot afford or refuse to shell out. Of course, if you're anything like me, you'll automatically rule out certain films. For instance, I'll usually rule out anything in which Bea Arthur has a speaking role... or anything in which Penelope Cruz is not dismembered before she utters a word in that piss poor vocal imitation of Charo that she adopted sometime after she grew breasts. Luckily, now there are enough critic sites that you can make reasonably educated decisions on what you may or may not like to shell out your hard earned cash to see. Sites like metacritic have recently become the darling of moviegoers everywhere. The thing is, they compile a list of "critical" reviews from major newspapers and tally a score based on the average rating. Anyone who loves movies as much as I do immediately discounts a paid review since the reviewer usually has an agenda that differs greatly with mine (which is to lose touch with reality for a few hours). Whenever I visit MetaCritic, I immediately scroll down to the bottom where the "real" people review and rate a particular film. That said, I'm compiling a list of films, all available on video (what's wrong with you?) and DVD that you may have overlooked in the theatres. These particular films were victims of either timing or viciously bad press for one reason or another. The Four Feathers (2002) imdb listing metacritic listing Directed by Shekhar Kapur (who also directed 1999 Oscar-winner Elizabeth), The Four Feathers is a film that was destined to fail and not because it is historically innacturate (it is) or because it has been "remade" six times (it has) but because it had the misfortune of suffering from a weird nexus of time and space. Seriously. The film depicts the worst possible parts of humanity (greed, blind patriotism and worst of all, elitist conceit) at a time that America began to feel the first fickle tingle of regret over the War on Terrorism and the idea of an American version of empiric rule began to be thrown about. No one wanted to see war much less be reminded that the United States was quickly becoming the very thing that prompted our founding fathers to sign the Declaration of Independence. I'm not going to get all political on you but I just wanted to explain my best guess as to why this film didn't do well in the theatres or with critics. So, the film. As I stated earlier, it's a story that touches upon all the things that make being human something to be ashamed of. But it is also about all the things that make being human worthwhile like compassion, understanding, courage and above all, loyalty to an idea. Let's face it, being loyal to your friends can be easy or difficult depending on your personality. But being loyal to an idea has to be the toughest thing and the most worthwhile thing imaginable. Heath Ledger does all the right things as the central character, Harry Feversham, acting at times cowardly and at others, courageously. Kate Hudson isn't hard on the eyes and she's probably wasted here. Of course, I'll go on record as saying that anytime you put a love arc into an action/adventure story, you'll fail miserably but that's outside of the scope I'm working with here. The supporting cast including the always watchable Djimon Hounsou perform admirably and make this movie worth renting. Equilibrium (2002) imdb listing metacritic listing Directed by Kurt Wimmer (who wrote the screenplay for the highly watchable remake of The Thomas Crown Affair), Equilibrium was critically panned by almost everyone on the planet even if they didn't actually watch it. Critic after critic revelled in the joy of bashing a movie that looked like The Matrix but wasn't. They called it mindless and numb. They called it imbecilic, inattentive, obtuse, and senseless. If they didn't have access to a thesaurus, they blindly labeled it dumb. The truth is, this film is pretty fun. With fantastic special effects, a nifty storyline and good performances from Christian Bale, Angus MacFadyen and Taye Diggs. Like any movie not based in reality, you have to go in wide-eyed and expecting to leave reality at the door. This isn't to say you shouldn't expect things to make some sense. One of the big digs against this film was that it wasn't original and while Bradbury may have first brought the idea of outlawing books to light, Equilibrium pushes the idea even further by suppositioning that emotion brought out by culture and the arts were ultimately responsible for inhumanity... the very idea of beauty instilling a sense of jealousy between the haves and have-nots that ultimately results in violence. Overall, and despite critical posturing for the sake of being able to wax poetic on their high school knowledge of Bradbury and his superiority, Equilibrium is a wild ride and worth renting.