Monkey Diaries Archive

How I long for days gone by! Just last year I rode the 41 Union, which is also known as The Beautiful People bus. It was filled to overflowing with doctors, lawyers, stock brokers, executive assistants and other democrats! Now I ride the 19 Polk, which is also known as The Bus That Soap Forgot. I may have mentioned this earlier but the 19 is filled with crack whores, hookers, diseased homeless people & tons of people who voted for George Bush...What's a guy with sensitive nostrils to do? Ok...I know. I am being mean. Sothefuckwhat! They stink and I have the cure. It's a three part solution so stick with me for a few seconds... 1. Introduce them to the concept of Soap. 2. Show them a Toothbrush and how to use it. 3. Give them a tube of Toothpaste and show them how it miraculously works in tandem with the previously mentioned invention to prevent gum disease, decaying teeth & consequently, STANKYASSBREATH, the bane of all public transit riders. Teach them about those three modern inventions and just like that, Badabing! They are thrust kicking, screaming and pine-scented, into civilization!

comment?