Monkey Diaries Archive

What's the deal with old people trying to look 50 years younger than they actually are. Or more precisely, 50 years younger than even the blindest man would believe. On the 19 today (the shame train normally referred to as MUNI for those of you out of the know), there was a woman of about 70 who was wearing a black wig. She was yellowed with age, had more wrinkles than a your clothes the morning after a booty call and she sounded like crinkling cellophane when she moved. Yet, here she was wearing a leopard print skirt, a lycra top, porn-star glasses and the previously mentioned black rug. She wasn't aging gracefully but rather fighting it tooth & nail and losing badly. While we're on the subject, this is for you ladies out there that constantly stress about your age and how you look: No one cares. Honestly, men don't give a shit how old your are so long as you don't look "rode hard and put away wet," so to speak. Take care of yourself, be healthy and your man won't care about the few laugh lines around your eyes and mouth...those are sexy cause it instantly lets a man know you know how to have fun.

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