Monkey Diaries Archive

Is it me or has Mariah Carey redefined the term HOOCHIE? I'm not a big fan of crap so I've never really listened to her music. I first noticed Mariah shortly after she bounced on the scene years and years ago. I noticed not because I listened to her music as I said, but because when you're within earshot of her music on the radio, you notice. I thought to myself that very first time, "Holy shit, that's one loud squeak toy!" I looked around for the offending instrument of death, and whatever dog was chewing the shit out of it, only to learn that it was a music video featuring the future deviant diva in the flesh. Now, being relatively young and a big fan of women, attractive women in particular, I thought to myself, "She's hot so long as she keeps her mouth closed!" Unfortunately, our love was not to be because I don't think I've ever seen video or still photography that featured her lips touching each other. But I digress. As I followed her career, she went from being a normal, relatively conservative dresser into the type of ethnic hoochie favored by rap stars. Rap stars like Busta Rhymes. His latest video features Mariah in an outfit that rates a Hoochie Factor of about 9. Mariah is sporting the standard issue Hoochie uniform which is of course, Fuck Me pumps, Daisy Duke shorts and a string bikini top. From what I gather, Mariah is a very competitive girl and she's been competing with other devout divas for years. Her main competition has always been Madonna in terms of sheer attention grabbing so I guess she figured if she couldn't outsell her, she'd out-slut her. Mariah, you're winning.