Monkey Diaries Archive

You want sadness? I'll give you sadness. I'm a gadget freak. In the worst way. I have just about every modern convenience known to man or have had at one point or another. I depend on a variety of these technological marvels to function on a day to day basis. One of these things, if it goes down, can ruin me. One of these things is, of course, the thing that went down like a $5 hooker on payday at the GM plant in Detroit. My fucking palm IIIc, the battle-hardened warrior of countless sorties into the nether regions of scheduling and game playing, has taken the ultimate shitter. So, now, days before my birthday, I am torn between buying something I need (a replacement, the Palm M130, is $150 with my longtime Palm user discount) or postpone buying something I want (my long awaited Digital Video camera). What to do? I wish I was as popular as Tony Pierce so that I could get my faithful readers to flow the Biscuit Blog a few bones to keep me on schedule and knee deep in fish. Or if I was as cute as Sepi I could auction off a date to the highest bidder. Or if I was as hairy as Zak I could sell advertising space on my chest. But alas, I'm not as creative, cute or folically gifted as the aforementioned pundits of the blogosphere. Guess I'm going to have to go back to work as a male stripper. Sigh.