Monkey Diaries Archive

I'm going to be the luckiest testosterone factory in my immediate vicinity this NFL season! Why? Well because my GF has instituted a more is best ideology when it comes to NFL games. We're plunking down the coin for NFL Sunday Ticket through Direct TV which means that every Sunday through January I will be locked in my spacious living room watching all the games in 40 Inch big screen glory. You, I am sure, are jealous even if you don't like football. To put it into perspective, let's say you love knitting. Let's say that every Sunday, they release every new yarn available, but release only one or two new colors per geographic area (so that in San Francisco, you only get the San Francisco colored yarns). Getting Direct TV with NFL Sunday Ticket is akin to being able to get the very latest yarn colors the moment they are released... all of them, regardless of your geographic location. On a side note, girls, if you're looking for a man, the easiest way to land one is to use Sunday Ticket. Just get NFL Sunday Ticket installed in your home, put out an ad that says something like, "Beautiful, vivacious, sports aficionado seeks muscular, intelligent, fiscally solvent hunk to help me watch 16 NFL games every Sunday. Snacks optional, beer mandatory! Submit your photo and NFL fantasy roster asap for consideration!" Use that and you'll get guys clamoring for your digits (phone and NFL feeds). You wouldn't even have to know anything about football and you would be knee deep in man-show neanderthals bringing you gifts of pizza and buffalo wings. Of course, if you'd prefer to compete for dates, you could just make the rounds at the usual bars and have to deal with all those hootchie marina girls.